June 2013
“One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,”Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… what’s it look like? ”
—Mitch Hedberg (via elmakias)
May 2013
a sex position called the gatsby where you stare longingly at your partner from a distance and scream old sport when you climax
With all sincerity, F#CK YOU.: Slang Of The 1920'S →
sassy-starfish.tumblr.com
All Wet - describes an erroneous idea or individual, as in, “he’s all wet.”
And How - I strongly agree!
Applesauce- an expletive same as horsefeathers, As in “Ah applesauce!”
Attaboy - well done!; also Attagirl!
If people are really going to assume that guys with long hair are gay and girls with short hair are lesbians then I am going to assume that all bald men are actually eagles.
“you mean nothing to no one but that’s nobodies fault”
—soul singer in the session band, bright eyes (via rondloper)
“Hey sexy, nice tits. Whoa, why are you so upset? It’s a compliment. I’m only being nice to you, you stupid bitch.”
—Male proverb.
(via 7eleven)
(via 7eleven)
girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket
having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry
